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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Matt Forney: Not a Guy, Not a Male, But a MAN

Ah, here goes Matt Forney again, revealing to the world how cripplingly, heartbreakingly insecure he is.  In his latest post, "The Myth of Female Intelligence," Matt explains that, just as womanly self-esteem causes his dick to wilt, "girls who tout their intelligence" make him "nauseous."  Furthermore, Matt feels confident in asserting that he feels that way, ergo all men feel that way.

Anyway, I have no reason to doubt Matt when he claims that in all his 25 years he has only met one girl who was smarter than he was.  That is because I am willing to bet that the number of girls Matt has "known" (not in the biblical sense, merely those who have willingly interacted with him for an extended period of time) can be counted on the fingers of just one of his damp, pudgy little mitts. 

Matt supports his assertion that female intelligence is a myth by arguing, among other things, that girls pick "soft majors like English... where there are no standards."  Hey, wait a minute, I thought Matt was an English major!  (BTW, I myself was an anthropology major because, believe it or not, I thought a social science major was more "practical" than one in the humanities -- but then, I am not going to argue that I am smarter than Matt Forney...)

The notion that women are valued for their intelligence is "laughable" according to Matt, although I must say, in my experience, intelligent men tend to prefer intelligent partners, if for no other reason than to validate their own smarts.  I mean, what fun is it if she doesn't appreciate how witty you really are?  What's the point of being able to make references to "Petruchio" and "Kate" if she's never read Shakespeare?  

"As men, it is our responsibility to bring girls back to their proper place. To lead them into their natural roles as wives and mothers. We men do not choose or reward girls for their clown college degrees, their meaningless cubicle jobs... We reward them for their willingness to please us and make us happy ...  No amount of phony education or career “success” will scratch that deep itch in a girl’s soul: the desire to serve a man.  Not a “guy,” not a “male”: a man." 

A man like Matt Forney, of course.  In my mind's eye, he is typing all this while holed up in his childhood bedroom in his parents' house somewhere in upstate New York, waiting for his mom to call him downstairs for dinner, perhaps mashed potatoes and meatloaf?  But no worries: after several years of nonstop blogging, he is generating almost enough income to support himself thanks to the mysterious "unethical" gig he has recently scored.  With a little more effort, he will soon be able to "reward" that elusive "suppliant" female of his fantasies...

Oh, Matt, never give up on your dreams.

13 comments:

  1. Here's a choice selection from the purple prose of The Forney:

    "the hipster nancyboy who claims he wants an “equal”: they are the enemy. Without them, the Katerinas of America would gladly kneel to their Petruchios. Because these genetic discards cannot compete with legitimate men, they encourage degeneracy in the vain hope of getting their dicks wet."

    I wonder if Matt considers himself one of these manly, powerful legitimate men — traditional patriarchs? Because I've known a few of those, worked with and for them, have them in my family and they would laugh and snort at this silly boasting little fellow — in fact, they might consider him a "genetic discard."



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    1. He's definitely not a "hipster nancyboy."

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    2. Yet he definitely likes certain aspects of hipster life such as the latest hip bands and the general "scene" — a scene he was unable to break into. After his exciting hitchhiking adventure across our great nation, Matt ended his journey in Portland to get his "music" career started. However, thanks to the fat feminists of Portland, life there was just not to be endured!

      http://www.returnofkings.com/8320/6-reasons-why-portland-sucks-for-single-men

      Now he's back in Syracuse, at Mom and Pop's, taking on writing gigs for a fiver.

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    3. Heavens no! You'd never catch the Fornster sporting a beard, a small hat and tight trousers. (Sorry, that's the image that always comes to mind when someone says hipster).

      His opinion that men only pretend not to hate women so they can get laid is a method he should consider using himself.

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    4. I have always been so partial to "nancy boys" that it is hard for me to recognize the term as an insult.

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  2. Poor shmuck.

    I love how he (and many misogynists) assume that women are waiting for men to pat them on the back for their "phony education or career", as if that were their sole motivation for pursuing one. (And then there are the lesbians, but whatever.) Most people I know don't consciously choose their partners based on their IQ, but chemistry does involve being able to relate to one another and have some common interests. I don't understand how these weirdos think that society is meant to be organized so that intelligent, educated men always marry completely ignorant women.

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    1. Maybe that's why he's so full of hate, he can't find a woman who can relate to his awesome superiority and intelligence. I can see how that would be bothersome.

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    2. Maybe that's why he's so angry, he can't find a woman who can relate to his awesome commanding superiority and intelligence. I can see how that would be bothersome.

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  3. I noticed that he consistently refers to women as "girls". While this, regrettably, may be common parlance, it never-the-less reveals a desire to infantilize women. I wonder if Forney is aware he is doing that.

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    1. Note also the use of "men" versus "females." While he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, he's very aware of how to use language to subtly "dehumanize" women.

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    2. Yeh try using the term boys on his site and watch how fast he flies into a rage.

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  4. Strange piece. I wonder why he would choose to trash people who made the same choices he did.

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    1. I'm going to print his post out and have my students make mincemeat of his argument. It's so poorly supported it could be a great (negative) model. It's hard to believe Matt's professors would have given an essay like that a passing mark.

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