Monday, April 14, 2014

An Open Letter to Sunshine Mary

You may never see this, but I'll post anyway.

I know you gloated when I was doxxed and my name was smeared, and I know you think my blog is "batshit" (and you know I thought yours was too), but believe me when I say, with utmost sincerity, that I am sorry to read this attack on you.

Your attacker didn't reveal anything new to anyone, really.  He certainly didn't "prove" you were a fraud and he sure didn't prove you were "dangerous" or merited a full frontal assault of this nature.  By violating a basic tenet of internet discourse -- respecting people's rights to post anonymously, to have a voice on the internet without compromising their personal lives -- your attacker simply demonstrated once more his weak and ruthless character.  Anyone reading his post can see that he is motivated by envy of your success, self-hatred, and (I am sorry to point this out to a Red Pill Woman), his own deep-seated misogyny.

Believe it or not, I hope you'll come back.  Your blog was very popular and provided a lot of entertainment to people, regardless which side of the fence they were on.  

I won't promise to read what you write, and I can't promise that if I do read your posts I won't gleefully shred them to pieces, but I absolutely support your right to express your beliefs without fear of reprisal.   

CORRECTION:  SSM did not describe my blog as "batshit" (see comment below). Although if she had, it would be entirely within her rights to do so!


  1. wait, was she doxxed or something? I didn't really follow her so...

    1. She'd been doxxed before, so this wasn't exactly breaking news. The only reason I found out was she'd linked her dramatic "farewell" to my blog which clued me in to the upcoming Matt Forney "expose." Follow the link embedded in my post -- it's safe.

  2. I still say what she needs to do is get a Daily Mail column - they'd love her. She'd be bigger than Samantha Brick. Or she should pitch a book: slut gets married, gets cheated on, finds submission and turns things around. These books are wildly popular, and hers would have the added bonus of the husband cheating to raise the stakes and the drama, which the other books wouldn't. It's got a good narrative arc. She should shake off the basement dwellers and go out and be a writer for real and make some money.

    If she can tame some of the kookiness down, mind you.

    The doxxing saga has really been something, hasn't it? A good reminder of why we have feminism - so women didn't have to live their lives in dread fear of shaming and shunning by small-minded neighbours. Look how destructive it is.

    1. The manosphere is like a small, isolated town, isn't it? A kind of virtual "Peyton Place" where everyone's nose is buried in everyone else's dirty laundry, the atmosphere is thick with rumor, and the back-biting and nurturing of petty grievances never ends...

    2. Honestly, even if she kept the kookiness in, she'd probably still make a killing. After all, people do love a good hate read. I second the vote for an SSM book.

  3. As I've said before I didn't follow her blog, and won't follow it if she comes back. But I defend her right to keep a blog and not be harassed off the internet, and by the people who should have been her friends no less.

  4. The current doxxing of SSM comes on the heels of the death of King Joffrey. Who the hell is left to hate now?

    Nonetheless, this is dirty pool on MF's part.

  5. I'm in agreement with you regarding free speech, Cynthia. We are free to disagree about anything and everything, but there are lines people with decency, class, and integrity do not cross.

    1. The internet makes those lines very unclear, though, doesn't it? I'm still struggling with this notion of what is fair and "decent." I will say that ridiculing, mocking, and criticizing someone's online persona and the ideas he/she expresses in that persona is fair game, but deliberately trying to ruin someone's professional and personal life offline is indefensible. SSM had already been doxxed, so anyone who cared to could find out her real name, but I don't see anyone (even people like myself who find much of what she writes abhorrent) lobbing it about.

    2. Personally, I consider it fair game to reply to an attack but not to launch one. I consider a person's private and professional life off limits and see anything that implicates children as a complete violation. When people complain the Manosphere is dead, they can blame doxxing.

      Mary and Cynthia: Mark and I offer our support, such as it is, against these attacks.

  6. Well, okay.  I'll play.

    "I know you gloated when I was doxxed"
    I don't know that I gloated.  Here is what I wrote: "Thanks for writing about Ms. Gockley. I, too, have been written about by this woman on her Roosh&Me site, and in her post she made bizarre and not-factual personal comments about me. I will link to your post in my next weekly link up to warn other bloggers to be careful.Those of us who are Christians should pray for Ms. Gockley. I do not wish her ill and I hope she will find peace and healing through Our Lord."
    I thought that it was an acceptable response because you apparently attempted to doxx family members of other bloggers.  I assumed that information was true.  Now I don't know what to think.  Is it true, ma'am?  Did you do that? I've learned a lesson here, though: don't be quick to believe anything you read online even if you think the person is on "your" side.  Always verify.  And I'll add that ya'll might want to live by the same credo, because as awful as some of the stuff Matt wrote about me was (seriously, what kind of person links to a little kid's old google plus account in an attempt to doxx that their parent), things that have been written about me by some of the loonier feminist sites have not only been just as vicious but have contained actual threats of violence (I have screencapped such comments and posted them several times on my site.

    But you know what? I am sorry that happened to you.  Doxxing just isn't cool, period.  I could have doxxed the person who fed this information to Matt, but she has little kids, so I just won't do it.  I wasn't doxxed just now, of course, because I blog openly. It was my children who were doxxed there.  And I'm sorry you went through that experience.  Doxxing people is shameful, and both feminists and non-feminists/manospherians should discourage their own sides from engaging in that kind of behavior.

  7. "Snd I know you think my blog is "batshit""

    I didn't write that your blog was "batshit".  That was from an email that Lena S (aka CL/ThagJones) sent to Matt which has been quoted both in Matt's post and my response.  I don't know if your whole blog it "batshit" or not, but I will say the one post you wrote about me was kind of weird;; despite what Lena S wrote to Matt in that email about my alleged bisexuality, I'm actually not into other chicks like that.

    "Anyone reading his post can see that he is motivated by envy of your success, self-hatred, and...his own deep-seated misogyny."

    I have been blogging for a couple of years now, and this is the first time I've had this kind of behavior directed at me by a man in the manosphere.  I've tried to maintain some distance between myself and the manosphere because I consider myself a traditionalist Christian blogger, not a "red pill" blogger, but nearly all the men I've had conversations with from the manosphere have been entirely decent people, even the ones with whom I've had vociferous disagreements.  Many men in the sphere got chewed up by a biased legal system that took their children away from them and they are in a lot of pain.  Others have had a really hard time figuring out how to maintain their religious convictions regarding a commitment to pre-marital chastity in a sex-positive feminist world and still find a decent woman to marry.  I sympathize with their plight.  And I am an unabashedsupporter of The Patriarchy, even now, and believe the 19th Amendment should be repealed.  So I know in feminist parlance, that makes me the misogynist, even though I actually don't hate women at all.

    "Believe it or not, I hope you'll come back."

    I don't think that's going to happen.  I expected feminists and leftists to attack me, so that didn't knock me off kilter.  Being attacked by people whom you thought were on "your side" feels like the ultimate betrayal and makes me feel unmotivated to continue blogging at my present location. 

    "I can't promise that if I do read your posts I won't gleefully shred them to pieces, but I absolutely support your right to express your beliefs without fear of reprisal."

    Well, thanks.  I don't doxx people, anyway, most especially not their children.  I don't mind having my ideas shredded at all, and I actually love having conversations with feminists, provided they can be rational and not crazy - bodycrimes is probably my favorite feminist to actually have a conversation with because, while I utterly disagree with her politically, she's not an idiot.

    1. Is that the first time you actually bothered to address a woman who disagreed with you directly? Because you DON"T have conversations with feminists. You make sneering comments to your fans about feminists who post on your site unless they have a large following on THEIR blogs. What that says about your motivations is well, uncharitable at best.

      Consider using the time spent away from blogging contemplating why the manosphere might not be the sterling example of the traditional, Christian values you say you promote. You might want to contemplate your own behavior as well

    2. Please. She's with a serial cheater. Can you say, "coping mechanism?" The blog, the drama, the mean spirit, everything. I don't know a single person with a healthy, traditional-gender-roled relationship or desires who wouldn't pity/laugh at/roll their eyes at this woman. She (and other reactionary bloggers) completely make a mockery of traditional gender role life choices. It's disgusting.

  8. For goodness sakes, can you not accept the apology Ella (the squirrel)?

    To make it clear:
    1. It is not your business what HHG and SSM do unless they are harming their kids.
    2. It is not your business what HHG and SSM do unless you are their elder within the church and need to correct them.

    I have had emails from various people over the last week about taking things down and not, and in the end decided they were best erased @ my place.

    It's Easter. We remember that Christ died so we can change. And it is Christ who will judge if HHG has changed.

    Finally, as someone who actually works in mental health, let's say that with a person in front of you it's difficult to analyse what's going on and you can get things wrong. Very wrong. Trying to do that down the internet is a fool's game

    1. I'd call participating in the manosphere harming their kids alright. Especially since her kids are being doxxed by their own fellow manospherians 🐍


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