In "You Are The Last 3 Women You've Slept With," Roosh instructs his readers to assess their past three conquests with a critical eye in order to identify their own weaknesses and limitations. Because those ladies, for all intents and purposes, represent him.
Wow. I knew I had influenced a few past boyfriends (I hope in mostly positive ways), but I had no idea that I had defined them. I'm almost tempted to ring them up and let them know.
But wait a minute. At the risk of discouraging the hapless lads (who are now regretting that tattooed land-whale they went home with at closing last Saturday), Roosh hastens to reassure them that in fact, her deficits do not necessarily reflect the inherent value of the player himself. Sometimes the limitation is a matter of geography: "I believed Washington DC was the biggest one for me, so I got up and left, to find that the ceiling was lifted in what I could sexually accomplish."
Then Roosh segues into one of the strange metaphors for which he is renowned, wherein women become food, and average looking women are "fast food." And once Roosh sinks his teeth into a juicy metaphor, there's no stopping him!
"The day after eating McDonald's, when my bowel movement becomes problematic, I regret my decision to eat there." Now, anyone who has read Roosh's travel books knows that he is apt to become uncommonly obsessed with the state of his bowels, so it's natural that the sex = digestion metaphor springs so readily to his mind.
Anyway, at the risk of becoming "morbidly obese" or even courting "diabetes," Roosh realized he had to return to his higher ("gourmet") standards in women and so he "made the choice to hit the farmer's market and buy the freshest produce and meats." I assume that open air market is located in Odessa? (Poland, once vaunted as the perfect "poosy paradise" has now been relegated to the status of a Safeway or a Publix.)
I'll admit I'm rather confused. This sounds more like nutritional advice than anything; perhaps Roosh should call this post "You Are What You Eat," or even better, "You Are The Last Three Things That You Have Eaten."
In which case, at this moment, I'm a taco, a diet Coke, and a bowl of lentil soup.
|Please don't judge me.|