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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Trolling For A Living?

I once had a boyfriend I felt pretty serious about, but was frustrated with because he never had enough time for me. Part of the problem was that when he wasn't working, he was tied up with his mysterious friend, "Steve." They often spent their weekends engaging in various male-bonding activities (i.e., drinking copious amounts of beer and smoking prodigious quantities of pot), yet in the two years we were together, I was never introduced to "Steve." 

There was a fairly elaborate back-story with "Steve," and I remember many of the details. He had a sick mother whose house he shared, kept a high-strung miniature Doberman Pinscher my boyfriend detested, and worked sporadically as a painter (and therefore required my boyfriend's assistance moving furniture at odd times). Although "Steve" was a depressed, rather needy friend who required an awful lot of TLC, what could my boyfriend do? They'd been best friends since high school; they were "brothers from another mother."

You can see where this is going, can't you.

I'm not the jealous type, being so narcissistic oblivious that it rarely occurs to me someone would want to be unfaithful to me, but it finally became apparent that my erstwhile bf was a two-timer.

But I had to know for sure.

So I set up a sting operation wherein I invented a fictional character of my own; we'll call her "Delilah." Of course "Delilah" was tailored to my boyfriend's specifications and had all the attributes I lacked: She was a sultry brunette with just enough avoirdupois who was considering breast reduction surgery because her 36GG "girls" were a physical burden, not to mention a distraction, in her quest for Mr. Right. She was looking for a sensitive long-haired poet-type to take her to art films and alt-rock venues. And let's see, what else..? Oh yeah, she loved to cook.

I cast my bait and waited. Within 24 hours, I reeled him in. And then I played him a bit, just for sport, and when I'd had my "fun," I cut the line.

And that was the end of that!

Years later, I deigned to re-friend my ex (platonically) because I have a nature that is, paradoxically, both vengeful and forgiving. (And also, I needed someone to accompany me to indie movies and alt rock venues.) One night, we were sharing drinks when he began to reminisce about this incredible woman he'd once met named Delilah. They'd never met in person, their correspondence having been mysteriously and abruptly terminated -- but he still longed for her, still wondered what if...?

Emboldened by my second martini, I bit the bullet and confessed my hoax, prepared to endure his righteous wrath over my deception. But my ex wasn't angry at all. He wasn't angry because he didn't believe me.

And flash-forward ten years later, he still talks about Delilah, and I still remind him she was my creative "product" (a figment, to be sure, of both our imaginations) -- and he still doesn't believe me.

I confess all this to explain why I have a serious fondness for those pranksters who troll the manosphere sites. Or maybe I just want to believe that some of these guys are trolls. The Internet allows all kinds of virtual realities to flourish. And I've had enough exposure to the "manosphere" that I'd like to see what I could pull off. 

If I was able to "play" a truck driver with an eighth grade education IRL, I'll bet I could play a gun-totin', bible-thumpin' casserole-bakin' red hot mama with a pit bull stashed in her apartment and a secret vocation to... wait, I don't want to give it all away yet! Suffice to say that only true Christian gentlemen would be allowed to comment on my website -- y'know, the kind who know how to treat a lady!

Well, someone has to fill the void that Sunshine Mary left. The Manosphere needs the crazy ladies. Just remember: It's all about sex! And who knows, maybe I could become so successful that I could retire to, say, Mexico, and surround myself with dancing cabana boys, just like Ava Gardner in Night of the Iguana.

KP943-Photo-AVA-GARDNER-The-Night-of-the-Iguana-1964
And maybe Richard Burton would stop by now and then.

12 comments:

  1. If you want to pretend to be a casserole-making lady with a pit bull, you need to provide pictures of your tattoos!

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  2. Cinzia, that's devious, hilarious, sad, and... quite educational at the same time.

    You could totally pull it off as the next coming of every Christian manurespheric man's feminine ideal (although you'd probably not want to name yourself Delilah).

    It is ridiculously easy:
    1. blather endlessly, but with appropriate gravitas (biblical quotes are helpful) about your joy in submitting to your husband (you should be married -- to a man, yup), especially in sex;
    2. throw in a recipe or two every once in a while (preferably your "husband's" favorite dishes); and
    3. include pics of your body and/or lingerie. That last part has to be done in religionist-approved ways, so in the context of, for example, instructing other Christian wives on how to please their husbands, or showcasing your remarkable skills in corset-making. The latter allows you to kill several birds with one stone: you humble-brag about your superior submissiveness, domestic skills, and body; and provide much sought after titillation for the men who want to be with you and women who want to be like you (when they are not thinking of killing you). Fame and profit will follow easily.

    P.S. SSM has not really left, even though she closed her hilarious blog. She still posts pious comments at Dalrock's, Zippy Catholic's, and a couple of others Christian manurespheric sites, playing her slut-for-Jesus shtick with the usual panache (or what passes for it in those circles), as if nothing happened. And the fellas there, channeling the spirit of forgive-forgetfulness, or, more accurately, desperate for a woman, any woman in their midst, embrace her as if nothing happened.

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    1. I checked out Zippy's blog and saw that SSM had left two detailed comments about the horrors of anal sex. It was as if she was trying to play the role of the model Christian wife while at the same time teasing the single male virgins who post there.

      I predict that she'll revive her blog soon. She's written about moving to a "country paradise" on her Twitter feed. Once settled in, we'll undoubtedly hear all about how she's gathering eggs and plucking chickens to make her Holy Hand Grenade made-from-scratch dinners and gathering berries to can jam. It will be a sexy/homesteading/Christian/anti-feminism/mommy blog

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    2. What do you mean "as if"? (lol)

      Those sex-obsessed Christians are something else. One would think that, being Christian, they'd cultivate Christian virtues -- humility, compassion, love for thy neighbor 'n all -- but one would be so very wrong. They waste their days doing just the opposite.

      It also makes one curious, again, about the state of their supposedly happy marriages (one cannot help it). Happily married folks just don't spend that much time online obsessing about sexual matters and bashing strange people for their sexual behavior. The inescapable conclusion is... well, inescapable.

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    3. Have to add:

      4. post on topics of general interest -- i.e., the evils of liberal society and particularly feminism, and the arcana of religious doctrine.

      You've gotta give teh menz something to complain about as well as opportunities to show off their "knowledge.". Without such, even the pics of your bod and corsets won't be enough to keep'em coming back on the reg. They'll get titillation from it, but will not linger if you don't provide an opportunity to share their thoughts (i.e., bitch and moan about women) and compete for status and your attention with other men.

      These guys require a permanent whipping boy -- or girl, to be more accurate -- on which to unload their mental and emotional anguish. For all their skittishness about and disavowal of feelings, they overflow with them, especially with the negative and sex-related ones.

      So give your audience what it wants -- or "build it and they shall come."

      It'll be a smashing success, without a doubt. No one has ever failed overestimating a (Christian, but not only) man's vanity and ego.

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  3. There is a blog post that begs to be written, titled, "How to Game a Red Piller, the Anti-Feminist Way."

    Its inspiration would come from observing manospheric women's behavior, which is brilliant, in a seriously wicked way. I have in mind one relatively popular manospheric blog that specifically invites women, where several of them play a game of sexual competition and conquest with remarkable results.

    Based on my field observations, I've distilled their successful strategies here:

    1. Objective: initial acceptance.

    a. Identify yourself as anti-feminist ASAP. In order to do so, state it clearly, but also post anecdotes of feminist evildom as you've experienced it in your own life.
    b. Play down your intelligence and critical thinking skills. Agree with everything the men say, compliment them on their astuteness, and ask frequent clarification questions.
    c. Repeat a and b endlessly and at random.

    2. Objective: trust.

    Gang up on women in general and feminists in particular continuing with even more anecdotes of feminine evildom as observed around you. See the men nod in understanding, and sympathize in return when they share their own similar stories or those they gleaned from Daily Mail. Validate their pain and pet them on their heads, but not too obtrusively as it may lead to erosion of the nascent trust.

    3. Objective: attraction.

    Play up your femininity using sly, seemingly off-topic stories about yourself that show what a special snowflake you are. But don't overdo it! Proceed with caution there. Best to ration such stories and limit them to about 5 per post. You must create an impression of an unusually feminine appearance and demeanor (submission!), combined with low maintenance.

    Don't worry, it is not as difficult as it may sound. E.g., you may casually mention your love for high heels and dresses, but follow it up immediately by saying how much you enjoy working in your yard, in high rubber boots, overalls (too big because you've lost so much weight -- again!) and that ragged T-shirt that barely covers your ample chest (you should really follow your mother's advice and buy a bigger T-shirt already, but you just hate shopping, being that kind of gal). Don't forget to mention, off-hand, what a problem it is to keep your long, lush hair under a plain baseball cap when you dig in dirt. "See, guys, we women also have occasional problems, LOL! Not as serious as yours, of course, but a girl struggles sometimes too!"

    At that point, you may ask their advice on where to find the plainest, cheapest, most low maintenance baseball caps, and also steer conversation toward their favorite baseball / football teams / sports.

    If you worry that this may be too transparent, don't. They won't notice a thing. Once you mention high heels and dresses, follow it up with lush hair, and a casual remark about your ample bosom, and then sports (or guns), their thinking skills, negligible as they are, will vanish. And a car / airplanes / beer - related convo will wipe out any remaining traces of them. Yes, we are talking the Manly Men of the Red Pill gospel, who, as it turns out, are no different from any other men, of any other colored gospels.

    Once the objective of Attraction is realized, we'll move on to more advanced skills (yes, sex and sammiches are involved).

    It is fascinating to watch Red Pillers -- you know, those men who see the unvarnished truth, and will never ever again fall for feminine wiles -- fall for feminine wiles again and again with gullibility worthy of a rom-com. Their belief in the infallible Red Pill wisdom makes them a uniquely easy mark. So, enjoy. ;)

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    1. LOL. I see this isn't your first day at this particular rodeo. Great analysis.

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    2. Thanks, NPS.

      Actually, though, it is my first day at this rodeo, so to speak. I'm a newcomer to manuresphere, and have read semi-regularly just a couple of its blogs for a few months. One thing that immediately has jumped at me is the transparent game of Red Pill women who flock to those sites.

      They are so obvious in their attempts at ingratiating themselves with these guys, using all the stereotypical feminine wiles, that they could serve as an educational example, for Red Pill men, of what to watch out for and avoid (= women so desperate for male attention and sexual validation that they will say and do anything in order to obtain it*).

      But the super-smart truth-equipped macho Red Pill dudes just fall for the women's game as desperately and hopelessly as any other dudes everywhere else. It is fun to watch, I must say, even though also sad sometimes.

      *The most curious are again the ones who claim to be happily married and brag about their "alpha" husbands and wonderful marriages -- makes one wonder, again, why they spend so much time online talking about it and ingratiating themselves, in such transparent and often pathetic ways, with guys who generally represent the dregs of society. Doesn't compute -- unless their happy marriages aren't quite as happy as they claim them to be.

      Incidentally, these women's behavior confirms the attraction of a small segment of female population to primitive male specimens (a.k.a bad boys or BB-wannabes). Luckily, they keep it all within their manurespheric family, so it's all good, at least as far as the rest of humanity goes.

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    3. P.S. Wanted to add to this:

      "But the super-smart truth-equipped macho Red Pill dudes just fall for the women's game as desperately and hopelessly as any other dudes everywhere else. It is fun to watch, I must say, even though also sad sometimes."

      It is so, because in no time the very Red Pill-awakened men turn into those so-called (and despicable) beta orbiters, manginas, and white knights on behalf of these women, who, in their eyes, represent Special Snowflakiness at its finest just because they tell them the very things they want to hear.

      It goes to show that none are as blind as those who believe they know The Truth. It is apparently much easier to manipulate a Red Piller than it would be any other man, since their buttons are so well defined and close to surface, and their neediness makes them oblivious and as desperate as the women who manipulate them so.

      They should definitely stick together, IMO, and form relationships IRL. They are perfect for each other and as long as they gamely manipulate each other to get what they want, and are OK with it, it's great. Maybe when they have someone in their lives, they'll finally stop blogging nonsense about women every day (lol, yes, I know -- not gonna happen, but hey, one can always hope).

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  4. "If I was able to "play" a truck driver with an eighth grade education IRL, I'll bet I could play a gun-totin', bible-thumpin' casserole-bakin' red hot mama with a pit bull stashed in her apartment and a secret vocation to... " you'd be Queen A at Return of Queens.

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    Replies
    1. LOL! Ain't that the truth.

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