Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Is Matt Forney a Closeted FA?
I ran across this graph right after making the mistake of reading a "fat rant" by Matt Forney. For a guy who professes to find fat women repulsive, he sure spends a lot of time fulminating about them.
I'm perplexed by the obsession with fat girls. I don't find extreme obesity attractive or "healthy" either, but I don't find the people who suffer from this to be "undeserving of love" or deserving of abuse ("shaming," "shunning"). Nor did it stop me from falling madly in love with a guy who was once pushing 400 lbs (he's slimmed down considerably since, courtesy of two bouts of oral cancer). I've never thought it was my mission in life to persuade prospective sexual partners to eat less (unless, perhaps, we were sharing a pizza LOL). Nor do I begrudge my thin friends their svelte physiques (unless we're browsing the sales racks together).
My "fatness" is my personal issue. It's between my doctor and me -- and a handful of intimates in whom I choose to confide. Unless some random stranger is forced to sit next to me on a crowded plane, I fail to see why my girth affects him in any real way.
If it's a matter of his being offended aesthetically, well boo-hoo. I'm potentially "offended" every single day I venture out in public: I happen to think anyone over the age of eighteen who wears a baseball cap looks like a moron. I am not a fan of the shaved head + goatee look either. I loathe clothing with logos on it. Public spitting turns my stomach. And don't get me started about all the truly terrible writing I have to read!
For the most part, I try to ignore these affronts to my delicate sensibilities because (1) they're trivial, and (2) otherwise I would be in a chronic state of rage -- and that's just not a place where I want to live (not to mention it's worse for one's heart than cheerfully schlepping around an extra fifty pounds).
The fact that Matt Forney and his readers don't want to fuck women who look like me isn't really a problem for any of us, is it? In fact, if my rotund body actively and magically repels them, it's kind of a plus in my book.
Look, kiddos, let me lay it on you: No person is obligated to be physically attractive to another person. You are not "owed" a supermodel girlfriend despite what television commercials have been teaching you. The sooner you get this reality through your noggins, the better off you'll be. The only body a person gets to control is his/her own -- and even then, not always (see cancer, above).
Perhaps the crux of the issue is that misogynists don't recognize women's personal autonomy. In their infantile minds, every woman is put on the earth for the sole purpose of pleasing them. It's a little bit narcissistic, wouldn't you say?
Still, the way they natter on about how teh fat kills their boners! Although they claim that they enjoy joking about fat women, they don't seem to be having much fun with it. Indeed, the topic sends them into paroxysms of rage.
And what really enrages them is that when they do decide to "bang" a fat chick (out of sheer desperation, apparently), those "ugly bitches" don't want to be banged by them. How dare an "imperfect female" reject them! How dare anuglyfatchick have any standards of her own?
It seems like Mr. Forney spends an awful lot of time haunting the "fatshionista" blogs and stewing about the fact that a lot of these young women manage to have some well-documented sexy fun despite their excess poundage. Personally, I love seeing a fat girl rocking a bikini. That is not because I think all fat girls should wear bikinis, or because every fat girl turns me on (some do / some don't), but because, well, why the hell shouldn't she?
Self-acceptance and self-confidence do not encourage people to be fat. Probably the opposite is truer. People who like themselves tend to be more active and socially engaged, as well as more tolerant and compassionate of others.
And I am willing to lay odds that if Forney and Friends tried to publicly "shame" these girls they would be met with great belly laughs of derision. Personally, if someone jeered or tried to humiliate me within my earshot, in a bar or a club or anywhere but from a fast-moving vehicle, they'd get a dose of their own medicine.
Some people speculate that Forney is a closeted gay. I don't know about that, but I'm beginning to wonder if he isn't a closeted FA. (That's "Fat Admirer" in BBW circles, a subculture I suspect Matt Forney is already quite familiar with).
Anyway, I stole the graphic from Helen Boyd's En/gender site. I used to read her blog faithfully and participate in the forum, but after a while, suffering from "trans ally fatigue," I fell away. I am now adding her to my blog roll as a personal reminder to check in more often. I am so annoyed that I missed her recent trip to my city. I would have enjoyed going to the event.