Showing posts with label reproductive rights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reproductive rights. Show all posts

Monday, September 16, 2013

Abortion, a Male Perogative?

Over at Return of Kings this week, there are two posts about abortion running concurrently:  "How to Convince a Girl to Get an Abortion" by someone who calls himself "bacon," and "How to Fight Abortion" by regular ROK contributor Athlone McGinnis. 

The bottom line: Abortion is always the woman's fault, and it's always wrong for a woman to seek an abortion unless the responsible male partner wants her to -- in which case, it is wrong for her to refuse to comply.    

I really don't believe most of the readership at ROK cares two figs about the rights of fetuses, and in fact these are the kinds of articles ROK readers have been complaining about. (Such downers!)  What they do care about is controlling women, and particularly women's sexuality.  In that respect they are no different than many "mainstream" conservatives and religious fundamentalists. 

I wish there were more non-permanent birth control options for men (and for women). Nobody should be forced to parent against his or her will, and I have a low opinion of women who accidentally-on-purpose let themselves get pregnant in order to secure commitment from men (and yes, this happens).  I understand condoms are a desensitizing drag, and, as Nina Hartley recently pointed out, not ideal for female partners either, but for fuck's sake, grow up and quit railing against reality.  Biology is often unfair.  And it strikes me that Roosh, with his much vaunted degree in microbiology ("a man of science" indeed!) could have chosen to apply his training to help develop better contraceptive methods instead of squandering his life promoting irresponsible sexual behavior.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Sperm Jacking; or, Learn to Love Latex

Roosh has repeated categorically that he will not have children with an American woman, while in the next breath he glorifies "raw dogging" as many women as possible, including women he frankly detests.  A few months ago, I felt compelled to remind his impressionable young male readers that unprotected sex was likely to lead to unplanned fatherhood.  I figured Roosh would delete the commentin fact, that comment may have led to his blocking my IPO.

Back when I worked at an abortion clinic, I would sometimes ask young girls (15-16 year olds, typically) why they hadn't used contraception, and the answer was usually to the effect, "I didn't want a baby, so I didn't think I could get pregnant."  This kind of magical thinking is a part of the adolescent's natural egocentrism, of course, which often leads to lamentable consequences.  Some adolescents are exceedingly responsible about their behavior, but we can't expect that most will be, and it's not their "fault" when they're not.

By the time a person is in his early twenties, the prefrontal cortex has had a chance to develop and get connected with the rest of the brain.  That's why "21" is a reasonable age at which to grant legal adulthood.  Unfortunately, our pesky sexual impulses continue to override common sense for a long time to come.  It may take years of experience to understand that "something that feels so good" may not, in fact, "be so right."

The Misogynists talk a lot about "sperm jacking," whereby devious women trick unwitting men into impregnating them, thereby guaranteeing the mother the right to suck her victim dry of child support for the following eighteen years. Unlike most of the manosphere fodder, it's not a baseless fear.  It does happen.

Late last night, as I was leaving the athletic club I've recently joined, I was waylaid by a young fellow working the front desk.  (Part of becoming a fat old lady is that everyone under 30 now perceives me as a maternal figure, which is kind of touching but also kind of annoying.)

While I was trying to browse the pool schedule, the kid launched into a story about his personal travails with his "baby mama."  In the span of twenty minutes I learned all this:  He had once been a happy chap with a promising career as a Red Bull sales representative. Apparently Red Bull has aphrodisiac qualities I was hitherto unaware of:  Every day, flocks of pretty girls laid siege to his cart, demanding free samples.  To his surprise (and mine), there are Red Bull groupies.  As a result, the poor guy had more pussy than he knew what to do with.  And all of this went to his head (and nether regions).

One lass came back for more than the Red Bull.  She told him she was a 22 year old university student on the pill; as it turned out, she was an 18 year old high school dropout who had decided to have a baby.  Six weeks later, he learned he was going to be a father.  And that's when the nightmare began.  Because allowing for hyperbole, even if only half of what he related to me was true, she (and her parents) sounded like absolutely terrible people.

The kid didn't want this pregnancy and he wasn't consulted, but he was willing to "man up" and take responsibility.  Over the past two years, his efforts to establish a relationship with the child have been thwarted, yet he has grown emotionally attached to the child, and would like to be a good parent.  He and his parents have already poured $18,000 into the legal system in an effort to gain more access.

He was practically in tears last night because he had just learned his son had been taken to the ER with a dislocated elbow.  My eyebrows shot up:  How did that happen?  Well, the child had been trying to play with his mom's laptop, so mom had picked him up by one arm and swung him away from it. "Poor little guy!" the young man fretted.  "I hope you're documenting everything," I said.

I also said, "I hope things get better.  Don't give up.  Your son needs you in his life."  I was trying to say all the right things, but what I really wanted was to quit listening to this saga.  It was harshing my post-workout mellow.  I also resented hearing this kind of story right now; when I am so furious with the MRM, the last thing I want to entertain is the notion that men do have some legitimate grievances, and Father's Rights are definitely an area where changes are called for.

Obviously, forcing anyone into parenthood is unethical, to say the least.  As a woman, I know that being pregnant against one's will is like being pushed on to a train you can't get off of.  Desperate women will risk death to jump off that train.  Knowing this as I do, how can I not feel some measure of sympathy for guys secretly giving their pregnant girlfriends abortifacients?  It is unfair.

Biology is unfair in general.  The legal system is sometimes unfair to men.  It sucks, but that's the way it is. Meanwhile, as Annie Sprinkle says, "Learn to love latex!"